A son in Chicago calls his mother in Marietta every Sunday. His sister lives ten minutes from their mother and handles everything else. He would like to do more and does not know what. She would like him to do more and has stopped asking. A family member in another state can still own whole jobs.
This guide is for the family member who lives in another city or state, and for the local family member who wants that person’s help.
Pick jobs that can be done from anywhere
These jobs can be done by phone and computer:
Insurance calls, claims, and appeals
Paying bills and tracking the monthly budget
Scheduling appointments and arranging rides
Ordering medical supplies and refills
Researching and interviewing home care providers
Keeping the medication list and contact list current
A standing weekly call with the parent
Owning a job means handling it from start to finish, including the follow-up call when something goes wrong. Take one or two jobs completely. That helps the local family member more than offering to help with everything when asked.
Get the access you need
Many of these jobs require permission. Ask your parent to add you as an authorized contact with the doctor’s office, the pharmacy, the insurance company, and the bank. Some offices need a signed form. A power of attorney or a HIPAA release may be needed for others. OPA’s guide to legal papers explains which document does what.
Share one record
The local family member sees what happens. The distant family member needs to know it. Keep one shared notebook or document with the medication list, the care team’s contacts, upcoming appointments, and notes about changes. OPA’s free Family Care Notebook and Family Communication Plan help set this up.
Use visits well
When you visit, spend part of the time looking at the house and the parent’s ordinary day. OPA’s guide to the holiday visit lists what to notice. Also use visits to give the local family member time off.
Pay for help when that is what you can give
Some long-distance family members contribute by paying for hours of paid care, so the local sibling gets a regular day off. If you do, agree on who manages the relationship with the care provider, so the provider has one contact.
A first step this week
Call the local family member and ask: which job could I take over completely, starting this month? Then ask your parent for the permission that job needs.
To arrange paid help for a parent in the Atlanta area, see how care starts at OPA.
Rules on medical and financial permissions change. Confirm current requirements before acting. Confirm what a document allows with a licensed Georgia attorney or the office involved.
